i went to seekers today for the first time since 2001.
How was it?
good for you! How was it?
I showed up to Newman a little late for Seekers already–only to find that they moved it to the Jesuit house on northside that week because Newman was a polling place! So I wasn’t going to go because I felt too lazy to walk up there, and it was approaching 8, but another girl showed up, so I walked with her. We got there at 8:30 or so, an hour late and halfway through the “icebreakers.” I’ve gotta make it a point to not be late, because the thing I’ve missed the most about fellowship stuff is the singing, haha. The bible passage was from revelations–and heaven and earth and sea will pass away and be made anew, and there will be no more tears, said the voice from the throne and all that. We talked about how it’s comforting (used in funeral masses a lot, actually) but difficult at the same time… Father Charlie mentioned he did a paper on stuff like visual imagery and the sea, so saying that even the sea will pass away is important since in one version of the creation story God passes over the sea and then creates the world…
Afterwards everybody hung around way longer than usual because it was dark and cold and we all had a long way to walk and we stayed to watch the election results come in on tv.
Besides two people from current decadence, the only person I knew was Bernie–he’s still there! And helping out a lot with Seekers, I think. He’s graduating in may. Have you met Father Charlie? Or Pious (if that’s how his name is spelled), the dude (what do they call people studying to become priests?) who helps lead seekers? They’re pretty funny. I’ve been meaning to introduce myself “officially” to Father Charlie or something but I keep running away.
And apparently “lots of people in decadence” go to Newman now. How strange–I was the only one (active) all the years I was in it. And it’s so strange when people you know from different circles turn out to be really good friends. And it’s so strange to return to a community after totally dropping it for so long; Newman was my entire life at one point, it’s unfathomable. I don’t deserve any welcoming but I’m so happy to receive it all the same. And I feel so old–people in the same place academically as me are four or more years younger, and the girl I walked up to northside with was in JUNIOR HIGH when I was on SMT. Hahahahaha
Hahaha… that last sentence about the girl being in junior high was pretty funny. It is weird going back to those sorts of things. The other week I checked out a community college in the area because I was thinking of taking a class for fun or something, and there were all these high school kids there. It was weird to say the least.
Wow! Bernie? That’s awesome… I remember him as the cool math genius guy.
Yeah, I totally relate to what you’re saying… at some point I was at Newman multiple times in a week, either for meetings or mass or even studying in their library. It was like a home. But now I get a werid nervous feeling walking in there, because I don’t know anyone… which is ironic because part of the reason I liked it in the first place (when I started going as a freshman) was *because* I didn’t know anyone and it felt so anonymous.
Yeah, I felt simultaneously lonely and afraid of seeing people I knew.
Do you still go to Mass weekly?
not at Newman, I’ve been trying out churches in this area. It’s weird that I miss Newman, but at the same time I feel a little weird going there. But when my host brother was here from Korea I took him to a 10pm mass so he could see what it was like. I usually drop in time to time if I’m up in Berkeley.
Church: I should try that again. It’s so hard to look for and find a new community.
Catholicism lets me tap into an insta-community almost anywhere I go. Haha. I guess part of what draws me to it is the worldwide/universal/hierarchy thing–I like to be told what my place is; it feels more “official” and thereby “real;” if hundreds of thousands of other people do it too I feel more validated, like I don’t have to “do the research myself” to find out if it’s a “good” religion that’s “worth my time” because if all these other people belong surely there’s some good in it. All more indictative of my sheep-like inclinations rather than true religious fervor or values or rational thinking, but all that’s overrated anyway
Not bashing small one-church churches (I followed some friends to one semi-regularly for a time)–just that I like feeling part of something very large, with structure that’s basically the same wherever you go–that’s comforting to me, the unity. And communities are vastly different between parishes of course
I think I go to church not because I believe God is the single most important thing in my life and that I have so much faith and trust in Him but because I get lonely and like to be around people. Maybe that’s a little harsh on myself
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On Vox: last few days