Holy Progenitor Of Zeus. This animal can climb trees and break open a coconut. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab
I like how he has to rub his legs over his breathing apparatus to keep it moist. That’s just gross.
Look at these videos. http://www.arkive.org/coconut-crab/birgus-latro/videos.html I feel my doom stumbling in my general direction, slowly, inexorably, herald of horror all leathery knuckles and pumping arms before my skin is shredded into deliberate mouthfuls and I am delicately, peacefully consumed.
(via a comment in wowladies, which also brought me http://www.adipocere.com )

Edited to add:

He went on to give us giant, marvelous crabs.

2 thoughts on “

  1. I don’t care much for the Onion in print, but I absolutely looove their online sketches!

    Also: omg the ARKive footage of them “eating” the dead bird. Didn’t it just look like they were feeling it or something?

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