tomorrow will be awesome!

Scene: Berkeley Bowl. Checkout line. A girl runs up to her two friends to join them in conversation.
Judy points at three very indestructible-looking orange-slice-shaped brown wrinkly things in a bag.
Judy: What is THAT?
Robert: Yeah, what are those?
Ramon: You mean you both haven’t seen these before? They’re brazil nuts!
Robert picks up the bag of brazil nuts and pokes one, delicately.
Ramon: They’re difficult to open.
Robert: Then how do you open them?
Ramon: With a nutcracker.
Robert (perplexed): Oh.
Ramon: Sweetie, that’s what nutcrackers are for.
Robert: I’ve never actually seen anyone use a nutcracker.
Judy: Me neither!
Robert: Except in the ballet.
Ramon: Now’s your chance!
Judy: But you have to use them like this.
Judy mimes holding a nutcracker and does really bad fake pirouettes, flouncing about the checkout line for slightly longer than is neccessary.
Ramon: Congratulations, Judy. You are a gay man.
Robert (reaching over to give Judy a hug): Welcome!
Ramon: We probably have more estrogen than you.
Robert: Especially after this Luna bar.

Scene: Judy’s house.
Judy: I’ll be ready to go in a sec.
Judy turns to her computer, shuts it down, and turns back around to find Ramon and Robert wearing their penguin finger puppets.
Ramon’s finger puppet (to Robert’s finger puppet): We’re the bad idea penguins.
Robert’s finger puppet (to Ramon’s finger puppet): Just one more drink!
Ramon’s finger puppet (to Robert’s finger puppet): It’s only vodka!
Robert’s finger puppet (to Ramon’s finger puppet): You don’t have to get up in the morning!
Ramon (to Judy): We’re really gay.

Scene: Ramon’s house.
Judy: And then we’ll be marrying dogs.
Robert: One can hope!
Ramon (pouting hardcore): Have a good life with Stuart Little*.

*Stuart Little is the name of an absurdly cute white fluffy puppy that some of Robert’s friends belong to. Robert is in love with him.

1 thought on “tomorrow will be awesome!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *