Scene: Berkeley Bowl. Checkout line. A girl runs up to her two friends to join them in conversation.
Judy points at three very indestructible-looking orange-slice-shaped brown wrinkly things in a bag.
Judy: What is THAT?
Robert: Yeah, what are those?
Ramon: You mean you both haven’t seen these before? They’re brazil nuts!
Robert picks up the bag of brazil nuts and pokes one, delicately.
Ramon: They’re difficult to open.
Robert: Then how do you open them?
Ramon: With a nutcracker.
Robert (perplexed): Oh.
Ramon: Sweetie, that’s what nutcrackers are for.
Robert: I’ve never actually seen anyone use a nutcracker.
Judy: Me neither!
Robert: Except in the ballet.
Ramon: Now’s your chance!
Judy: But you have to use them like this.
Judy mimes holding a nutcracker and does really bad fake pirouettes, flouncing about the checkout line for slightly longer than is neccessary.
Ramon: Congratulations, Judy. You are a gay man.
Robert (reaching over to give Judy a hug): Welcome!
Ramon: We probably have more estrogen than you.
Robert: Especially after this Luna bar.
Scene: Judy’s house.
Judy: I’ll be ready to go in a sec.
Judy turns to her computer, shuts it down, and turns back around to find Ramon and Robert wearing their penguin finger puppets.
Ramon’s finger puppet (to Robert’s finger puppet): We’re the bad idea penguins.
Robert’s finger puppet (to Ramon’s finger puppet): Just one more drink!
Ramon’s finger puppet (to Robert’s finger puppet): It’s only vodka!
Robert’s finger puppet (to Ramon’s finger puppet): You don’t have to get up in the morning!
Ramon (to Judy): We’re really gay.
Scene: Ramon’s house.
Judy: And then we’ll be marrying dogs.
Robert: One can hope!
Ramon (pouting hardcore): Have a good life with Stuart Little*.
*Stuart Little is the name of an absurdly cute white fluffy puppy that some of Robert’s friends belong to. Robert is in love with him.
hahahaha you guys are so funny.