just now, i felt something on my arm, so i shook it. something solid landed on the desk. it was a spider. i cleaned up the newspapers and shit on my front porch the other day and foolishly put them in my paper-recycling brown bag in my room for a few days. i must have brought this spider in then. i’m vacuuming my room now. goodbye.


  1. Inconvenient misreading

    You should leave the newspapers down if you’re going to shit on your front porch, at least until you’re finished–then you can pick them up!

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