I’ve totally fucked myself.
Lost Cause fell apart (really this time). Guess we’ll find another guild to join. The AQ gates opened on Wednesday at around 7pm but I logged off; should have logged back on to try to weasel myself into an AQ20 group as I found out later the crashes stopped by 9:30pm. Too bad. Lately I’ve played with Jinuk’s guild on Dragonmaw, dabbling in their MC and PVP. I got lawbringer gloves and boots and rank 4 in two weekends of playing. Since I’d never concentrated on BGs before, I thought 71k honor in a week was good… until I inspected the leader of the good PVP team (who happens to be in Trinity and let me roll with them cuz I heal): laugh. I suck. I want to try my hand at a firelock on Boulderfist with stephentyrone‘s ice mage, but I’m too lazy to level her. Alas. Why do I even play this game? Most of the people playing it are really fucking annoying. “Blah blah blah’s going to get my Perdition’s Blade before me becuase I had to miss yesterday’s raid blah blah blah cry whine I’m going to cheat my way into paying less for this item than I have to blah blah blah You’re a noob blah blah Learn to play blah blah I like naked girls blah blah ur a fag blah blah blah” … But I don’t have 40 friends-from-real-life that play this game on ONE server, so if I want to do anything I have to learn to tune it all out. Replace “do” with “get.” Because I’m greedy. I don’t care about “making lasting friendships” because I think I’m better than everyone because they can’t spell or form simple sentences and use “2” for “to” and “4” for “for” and “idk” for “i don’t know.” I told myself I would pass on everything for Lynne unless it was about to get disenchanted because somehow I want to have this perception of myself as this generous, loving person, but I ended up rolling on ZG blues even though someone else wanted them for +defense, because I told myself I was entitled to it since they had an epic in that slot already. It would have made everyone feel happier if I just passed, and I even tried to tell myself to pass, but my greed overcame it. This sense of entitlement… These two guilds I’ve been in–I joined them in their later phases, when most of their members already had a bunch of stuff, so I didn’t have to wait long for things to fall into my lap. Blah blah blah and the people got sick of letting us ride on their coattails so they ditched us for better guilds. And why shouldn’t they? Why waste another few months of your life gearing up people you don’t even partitularly like so that you can experience new content when you can join a guild that clears the first three bosses of AQ20 the first night the gates open? Why do I even play this game if I can’t stand most of the players? Because I don’t have enough money in real life to get things since I’m too lazy to get a fucking job so I fulfill my materialistic desires ingame? I feel like WoW has so much potential to be fun, but it’s just “too hard” to get 40 people together and happy and I’m “too lazy” to work for anything… and again I want to be perceived as “fun” and “people-loving” but the truth of the matter is I hate all people. Blahblahblahblahblah
I’ve been in an extremely foul mood.