i hate auditions, no matter how small

last week when auditioning solos for mendelssohn’s laudate pueri i auditioned for both the alto and the 2nd sop parts. we all sang two parts twice each, once with and once without piano. so i did alto first and after completely botching the second part with the piano, prof flight said “ok, ok, i have a good idea” and didn’t have my group do it again. WAAAH, i suck that much? he said he’d email the people who got it soon, or something. i didn’t get an email.

no! tell me i have a lovely voice! tell me i’m special! tell me i blend well! i know, i was probably too loud or too bland or something. in high school i was in choir for only one year; i got into jazz choir and incurred the wrath of this one girl who taed that period and laughed loudly if my voice cracked during my “as rain” solo (which i pretty much regard as the high point of my singing career, i think. always had lazy songs with dragged out consonants). anyway back then i tried out for a trio in girl’s choir and didn’t get it then, either. i think i was too loud then and didn’t think about blending. mememe, i say. ew. i’m a dork. wait, as if i don’t have enough opportunities for performance singing. get some perspective! i got the 2nd “la la” and “foolish games” !!!!!!!!!!!! i need to shut up.

greed is a funny thing.