guess i’m doing fine.

today, connie moved in. she let me eat some of her sushi, watermelon, and chocolate cake. we watched the food network and got hungry. then i went to starbucks with hsiao, but since it was closed we actually went to ben and jerry’s. and since it was ben and jerry’s we ate ice cream. and since we’re like that we didn’t actually do any work. hehe. yay gab sessions with hsiao. =)

my lj comments haven’t been emailed to me in the past few days or so. strange.

yellow roses in the graveyard/ got no time to watch them gro-ow.
baby i’m lost, baby i’m lo-ost, baby i’m a lost cause.
you gotta drive all night just to feel like you’re ok.
well i cannot believe/ you got a devil up your sleeve/ and he’s talking to me/ and i cannot believe.

i like the lazily meandering synth (or is it electric guitar? i don’t know anything about anything) in his songs. like in “lonesome tears,” it goes up the scale a few times, and then the strings do some scales. or something. it’s really mellow.

i wish i had profound things to say. i feel like i don’t have to do anything, but still that “things” are looming above my head. i feel happy, but conditionally. i feel relaxed right now, but it’s only a fake-relaxed-ness because i’m worrying about “the future.” i was telling jenny (aka jennnnnnny… yes… i am bringing more of them into the fold… bwahaha) the other day before our final that i was walking home from my cs170 final (which i flunked… literally) and thinking that i used to be told i was exceptional and that i was so used to it, and that i have to find something that i’m exceptional at again because well it’s not school anymore and especially not cs. then i immediately backtracked and said “but i’m in an a cappella group, that’s pretty exceptional… yeah.” she pointed out that it is bad, of course, to base what you think on other people. i said that i do that because how can i say that i’m special or that i’m really good at something? it would be so much worse to overestimate things than to underestimate things (where did i get this mentality anyway). i look to outside sources for confirmation of my spectacularness so it’s high time i went looking for things to be spectacular at again. who am i trying to prove myself to? etc.

i try to avoid sites with popup windows (like… but now that i have mozilla, i don’t have to anymore! yay!

connie and i like the same music. she likes guster and phantom planet (i showed her my autographed cd, and she got pretty excited)! and BEN FOLDS! and so she played me some joe 90, and i played her some phish (i’d like to gather all your friends squish them into a small swimming pool so i could weigh them! courtesy of ryan and peter, kinda) and porcupine tree (courtesy of george)… living with her will be fun! happiness!!!

jane be jane, you’re better that way
now that you’ve tried imitating something
you think you saw…

you worry there might not be anything at all inside
well that you’re worried
that should tell you that’s not right
dont’ try to see yourself the way that others do
it’s no use…

it’s your life
you can decorate it as you like
beneath the painted armour in your eyes
the truth still shines
jane be jane.
jane be jane. (ben folds – jane)


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