Home!

I’m home! I’m very very very happy to be back =D My mom and brother drove me back to my sf apartment from the airport. I’m super grateful, since I brought home a bunch of stuff (including a very Dutch bag for my bicycle from Hema!), and my bags were heavy. Stroopwafels have been a pretty much unilateral hit. Brought home a bunch of drop for Dominique. It doesn’t seem like food, but all Dutch people love it. Now I’ve got to unpack and sort through A BILLION pictures, including an impossibly large amount of photos I took of clouds on the flight from AMS to Houston.

I think most people don’t know how much I love clouds!

Life is fun.

I got some nice comments on my talk!!!!

The most enthusiastic speaker in DPC13 and DMC13, which made me more enthusiastic about the subject. Very fun and interesting talk, with very good examples to get started.

Definitely going to use Three.js to build red cubes now.

/beams

haha

crunch time

Ally and I ate a lot of falafel on Leidseplein last night at this awesome salad bar, then barhopped all night. I really love this area just south of Leidseplein. And it was an accident–we had found a cheap Best Western here. I’m pretty behind on blogging!

The livenation.nl website didn’t take american credit cards, so I wasn’t prepared for the Muse concert–I was sort of thinking I’d go down to the arena to buy a ticket. Then it was 45 minutes away by tram and I … had inertia. This is really weird–a few years ago, it would have been COMPLETELY UNTHINKABLE for me to miss Muse in my city for ANYTHING. But traveling alone can be hard, and so when Ally said “Bad Religion is playing tonight! I loved them!” I was like “hmm maybe that instead” once I found out that the venue they were playing at was like 3 minutes away and I guess I want to do things with people.

Laura is going to KILL me.

She will KILL me.

I guess this is me feeling some regret, but at least I’m writing it down here as an indication that I am okay living with my choice. haha. It was also like less than half the price. I suppose I could have tried using craigslist or finding stuff. Well…

I still had fun and the Melkweg was a really cool venue, so I’m glad I went to *something*! And I’m into BR more and more these days anyway. I could sing along during “sorrow” and such. Found an area upstairs pretty close the stage actually where there were a bunch of girls so I stood near them, because it was less scary than standing near a lot of large dudes. haha.

After the falafel, I saw some people on Liedes square and one was wearing a Muse tshirt so I was like OMG HOW WAS IT? and they were like IT WAS GREAT BUT THEY DIDN’T PLAY HYSTERIA???? and I was like I SAW BAD RELIGION INSTEAD BUT MUSE IS MY FAVORITE BAND IVE SEEN THEM EIGHT TIMES LIKE IN SF RECENTLY (even thought it was oakland) and he was like WOW I’VE ONLY SEEN MUSE FIVE TIMES AND I LOVED BAD RELIGION WHEN I WAS LIKE 12, DID THEY PLAY ‘SLUMBER’ I LOVED THAT SONG and I was like I DUNNO NOT WHEN I WAS THERE cuz i’d missed the first like half of the show and then I was like WHEN I SAW MUSE THEY DIDN’T PLAY STOCKHOLM! DID YOU GUYS GET STOCKHOLM? and they were like WELL THEY DID THE ROULETTE THING SO WE GOT NEW BORN AGAIN (and i didn’t figure out what they meant by again–did they play it twice lol? I’ll look on the message boards later) and then his companion was like “here, you can have this” and gave me a 20 euro bill but on further inspection it was a 20 euro bill on plastic-y paper that says “the 2nd law” and has a picture of the band on it HAHAHAHA and they were like YEAH SOME CEO OF A BANK THREW THESE DOWN LIKE CONFETTI FROM THE CATWALK, YOU CAN HAVE THIS AS A SOUVENIR CUZ WE CAN SEE HOW SAD YOU ARE THAT YO MISSED THE SHOW and i was like THANK YOU

Then they told us about some interesting-sounding clubs (jazz // live music // different scenes // blues) and we went our separate ways. Ally and I danced a while. One fo the clubs played that song I used to play a lot in my dorm room in 2000 that goes “i just don’t care if it something soemthing, I’ll fly with youuuuuuuuuuuu! I’ll fly with yyoooooouuuuuu” and then immediately after that, played that song by macklemore, the one that I like that isn’t thrift shop–I like it because it’s obviously tongue-in-cheek with the most generic-sounding lyrics possible for the impossibly catchy chorus — tongiht is the night, this is the moment, we’ll fight til it’s over, so throw your hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us… I love this song and Leidesplein clubs do too. We went to another club and the song played there. Then we went to another bar and the song played there too. Hahaha.

Sarah and Estelle just got into town so I have to pack up here and go find them! So excited!

This library is beautiful

I had a totally uneventful flight (hooray!). I watched Life of Pi (Ang Lee! Also I loved the book when I devoured it, years ago, wrapped in bed and wracked with doubt, adrift in my own sea of turmoil) and then, immediately, Les Mis, which is such a stupid story I could barely stand it. Curiously, I’d never seen Les Mis in any form all the way through–I’d only caught glimpses of the version they used to play on kqed channel 9 all the time, where they didn’t have the full stage setting and the orchestra was on stage and the actors performed in front of skinny microphones, and even then I only ever paid attention to Lea Salonga, who is captivating and gorgeous and talented and expressive. I’d heard the names Gavroche, Fantine, Cosette, Marius, and Eponine, and now I know who they are, and bemoan their uselessness. ‘ponine, you could be so much more interesting, and there are other fish in the sea, and anyawy you need a sassy gay friend oh look someone made one and also how do you make double quotes on a European computer? I keep typing it and then mashing the keys and then deleting the äs that appear.

Anyway that’s not what I was trying to talk about. Here are my Amsterdam adventures so far:
- sat in airport lobby and read these travel books maiki gave me and finally decided to go to a library
- wandered around the airport trying to buy a power converter that would take my three-pronged plug for my laptop charger. Discovered, after choosing one, that I was still in the duty-free zone, and I wasn’t allowed to buy there after I deboarded. You’re only allowed to buy stuff there if you’re waiting to get on a flight, or something.
- Bought one elsewhere, along with a small backpack that I plan to use when I get home too. It’s green.
- Wandered around the giant section of the airport that says “train tickets here” (oh the way to make double quotes reliably is to press the key, then type a consonant!). Was stymied by the machines not taking my credit card or atm card (although both had just worked elsewhere). Finally discovered that only 1 in like 10 of the machines takes coins (and none of them appeared to take bills). Successfully bought a ticket to Amsterdam Centraal.
- Wandered around the station for a long time looking at maps trying to figure out how to figure out which train would take me to Amsterdam Centraal. Asked some people who were looking for a machine that took cash (and I helped them find one), who helped me.
- Got on the train as the doors were closing. The first car appeared to be a bike car. The train is beautiful, sort of like caltrain, but more well-used, and prettier, and smooth! Rode a few stops.
- Got out! Walked outside! Into the rain!
- Went back inside! Walked into some kind of drugstore-ish thing that sold everything from clothing to chocolates and bought the most offensive umbrella I could find (it’s orange with flowers! I had a hard time choosing between this orange one and the pink one with pinkish reddish carnations, but I’m glad I got the orange).
- Walked towards the library! Passed reams and reams of parked bicycles! Have never seen so many parked bikes in my life! Thought about renting a bike, but haven’t yet!
- Wandered around inside the library, which is white and huge (7 stories tall I think?) and covered in giant windows and recessed LED lighting on the shelves and so bright inside and full of interesting-looking students hard at work! Dismayed to find taht accessing their wifi is €1 per 30 minutes, and not free, like this tour book said (maybe things changed snice publication). Bought 30 minutes at a paystation.
- Their wifi login system isn’t working and an employee confirmed as much. Logged onto a public workstation instead (they are plentiful and line these balconies). Am sad about the continued inability to post pictures. I guess I could transfer them from my phone to my computer adn then from my computer to this public workstation via usb drive ….

Anyway, I’m figuring out stuff about the Wikipedia Engineering Meetup/Hackathon in Amsterdam now hooray! Also, trying to figure out my phone situation. Maybe I should go get the cheapest prepaid feature phone I can find so I can call/sms or something.

Enroute to Amsterdam!

Here I am, in Houston! One day I will sit down and figure out a process of getting pictures from my phone onto Something That Is Convenient For Display On Mah Blaugh and then I will be able to easily post this picture I just took of a bronze statue of George HW Bush in the Houston airport, but for now, words must suffice.

Why am I going to Amsterdam?
- I got a talk accepted to the Dutch Mobile Conference! I will be speaking about Three.js as a developing way to display 3d graphics on a phone.
- I arranged my travel such that I would be able to attend the Wikipedia Hackathon in Amsterdam!!!
- There happens to be a Muse concert while I’ll be there!
- Maybe I’ll take the train to Paris or something!

Yesterday morning, I made it onto my plane for my 8:50am flight out of SFO and to Houston, where I was supposed to make a connection to Amsterdam, but there was a mechanical failure, so we all had to deplane. We all got on another plane three hours later. United Airlines put me up in this Holiday Inn in Houston for a night. I’m bound for the Houston airport again now to get on a new flight to AMS!

Women Techmakers at Google I/O – May 15, 2013

Raw notes below! Will edit later!

Susan Wojcicki

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Wojcicki

Insights: often one sentence, but it’s very powerful

Youtube: user-generated content
1.56 billion dollars – from that little insight, you make a really big decision

Near and dear to my heart: ads
Insight’s very basic: ads are information.

Anna Patterson
VP Engineering
F15E – like the Eniac, had to toggle in the program.
phenomenal data mining. facts and relations, given a big data set. when you learn new correlations, kyou can explain these new correlations with an underlying phenomenon. leaving department to start companies. cofounded 1998 webmining company: the web was so big at 5 million pages, how are people going to get around this thing?! automatic taxonomy. what questions wehre answerable on the web and which weren’t. no recipes but the taxonomy around linux was deep. angel funding in time for crash.
mobile about to take off. moved into mobile in 1999 in time for the telco crash
1yo and 4mo pregnant, have you ever heard of
volunteered at internet archive. snapshots of web over time. in 2001 30 billion web pages. live web had 5 billion.
history based search engine that launched at 12 billion webpages. look how terms changed over time. 1997 search for clinton. in 1999, not as presidential.
4 days after launch, people wanted to acquire it. that’s how i ended up at google.
4 kids, started company: high-res, rich experience with high bandwidth; low-res for feature phones – summarize things. a fact that appeared on tons of pages on top with references. cool
returned to google, became one of the first 100 engineers in android. 40 million phones at that time. now has 900 million
helped launch google play on play tablets. 2 weeks ago, native search architecture on phone to index local data — when offline, have access to it
ray kurtzweil: the ai that humans create are going to leave the earth at light speed and populate the universe. we’re not jus tworking on the most important prdocut in planet earth,b ut in the universe.
use technology to shape the world. very powerful platform to help people and enable change.

Johanna Wright
vp search and assist, android
bicycled across country – ny tech exec to la unemployed and rejected from business schools
interviewed at ucla. response: you do? then job at google. career starting out at googl eand product management and advice.
first piece of career advice: not linear. expect to be disrupted. this is a disruptive industry, and you, too, maybe someday be living
what matters: engrgy and teanchit which you pick yourself up
pm for search. two choices: universal search: all content from different backends and put in main search results pain.
premium content search: all content behind paywalls and put in search results.
of course you should do universal search! that’s our business!
what does a good opportunity look like?
- strategic. in line with company’s vision and has not been done before: likely to be a good opportunity.

2005, google growing like crazy, chaotic. hard to know how projects got assigned, what you were working on. paired up with infrastructure team. great team, focused on building infra, didn’t wnat to build features. as prod manager, judged on features being launched. stressful.
- created set of mocks for what universal search could look like
- made powerpoint deck, walked around google, introed self to anyone who wanted to be features tech lead
ADVICE
- paint a vision. once you have a vision, it’ll be a lot easier for people to follow.

idea: user study. prototype. the people around us in google started to be able to imaing that this product may come to life and happen.
ADVICE:
- if you don’t know what to do, do something. just do something to move the ball forward.
fortunate that user study WAS what we decided to do because poeple loved it. so awesome to learn tha tthe project and prdouct had legs.
spring 2006 in labs for user study. search we asked people to do was barry bonds.
youtube of barry bonds – home video. participant of tying. participant / smile / not unnatural
ADVICE
- listen to your users. use the product yourself.
really glad we’re investing in speed.
magical experiences with google now, told me about party in burlingame which i forgot, told me it was 30 minutes from house.
intuitive feel for what you should be doing.
1. paint a vision
2. when you don’t know what to do, make mini milestones. roll that ballf orward.
3. use your products.

very own lean in story: universal search. 8 mo preg, marisa meyer said “lead a team for search strategy” – normal process is to set this meeting in mid november. no problem, we’l just move the date up. not much time to prepare. wednesday: strategy presentation. thursday: baby (c section). “this might be horrifying
set me up to have a leadership role in search when i came back from leave.
not that you hvae to sacrifice your family for your career. given the opportunity, iwant to give that presentation. huge that manager believed in me.
as managers, we shouldn’t assume peoples’ abilities or desires. we should ask. it’s our job to enable greatness in our teams.

Diane Greene
founder VMWare, entrepreneur, investor, ceo til 2008
board of directors, google

grew up racing sailboats. when you race a boat, first you have to build a team and get your team all aligned on a single goal (Win the race)
2. strategy to win the race. undersatnd what wind and currents are doing. pay attention to competitors.
if competitors surprise you or you get a wind shift, immediately handle that and continue winning the race.
3. engineering around sailing: prepare your boat, ready to go fast, tune it while on the racecourse to keep going fast.
that’s what led me to train. trained as mech e, then naval architect.
came to SF for first job and the first thing: analyze mooring for offshore oil platform used for firefighting. way to model this, learned to progra.
quit. went to hawaii. lived in a commune exploring windsurfing was an early microcosm of the tech industry. high aspect sails. new shapes of boards, new sails, build and test equipment every day.
ran engineering for windsurfing international (patent on windsurf) — taught me how abused patents can be. tried to control a rapidly-expanding industry with patents. continued to study software.
graduate program in cs at berkeley. berkeley was a pretty happening place at that point. the grad students had a lab full of brand-new sun workstations. build on open system. richard stallman hanging out there. first gui.
cybase operating system on sun. few months windsurfing and writing software.
how important it is to enbrace change. always go forward an embrace the
cybase didn’t want to support symmetric multiprocessing, so oracle eclipsed them.
tandem had best database but ran on proprietary hardware and os, so too hard to see buisness model. bought by compaq (then hp)
sgi, aggressive tech company at that point in time, worked on interactive television, exciting project, but again, internet was happening. started at sgi, but founder of sgi jim clark left to found netscape and a number of us left to found companies.
that’s when i decided to stick wtih startups. two successive small startups, executed early
1. streaming video over the internet low bandwidth
2. internet ad serving, interestingly enough
took time off, decided to found vmware, which was based on some work husband was doing at stanford around virtualization. there’s a few things i can kind of relate to what i’d already learend
1. sun micro introduced these workstations. people loved these workstations and brought servers into their companies. people loved vmware’s workstation software, and when we came out with server, people were quick to embrace it
2. engineering work with hardware, chip, storage vendros. worked with all vendors to take to market. huge beliver in collaboration in industry. always hard to convince other companies to trus tand partner with us, but always won jointly together.
3. how to adapt and embrace change. my job changed considerably from 0 to 6/7000 people when i left. recognizing “this isn’t working” and constnatly sectioning out parts of my job that i didn’t have time anymore and hiring someone to do those things. vmware was just a totally fun adventure, building it with all those poeple and seeing th eimpa t that it had
infinite number of wasy to do things. but whe you see something your’e interested in, think you could have imnpact, the thing that’s imnportant is to codify that vision, see that vision, enjoy the adventure of building that vision. if you do enjoy it, itmakes it failry easy to be fearless about it.
shift

hardware lead at google
Jean Wong
phd electrical engineering: photonics. optical communications. came to google: hardware lead on google glass!!! “i have it, i love it, so much more natural than a phone” (greene)
1111 (also consider base)
blank canvas: tech at a point to make an impact
discovery phase: connect to each other in access to social sphere
- look at existing products in mobile space, understand where it was we could make an impact.
- form factor
0- ease of access
- ease of use – blocked while using device? or talk w/ peole and look straight ahead?

to push on these, did some technical experiments
- blocked from lookking
- early optical experiment to see size of optical stuff impacting
in a vast array of options, looked for stuff
played with picoprojectors. looked at components like prisms. even
underpinning: electrical components and board design. in this huge array of options, how do we downselect?
1. power consumption
2. weight
these two are factors in enabling us to 1) wear a system all day and 2) want to wear it all day.

second phase: prototyping
six phases starting with actual mobile phone on glasses LOL
migrated to making own optical design/architecture
more and more customized components. making own plastics and metals. essence of what glass needs to be

derives its ease of use from an easy to follow ui.
experimented with different things like head gestures and keypad. text, font, size to optimize for readability.
found that minimalizing and stripping down to very core allowed for best use case and experience.
minor head tilts and voice commands allowed us a handsfree experienced which is imporant when dancing or riding roller coaster.
however, having touchpad and camera button allows for quiet.

next phase: production
it is possible to tweak a device and get close to ideal for functionality and looks, but question of scale. how do we build a google of devices?
automation is key to this. not only do we have to build glass itself, we have to build infrastructure that builds glass. floor space, equipment, whole kit and caboodle.
for added complexity, customization: color options. color complexity. colors match? make sure between devices, colors match? production requires answer to all tehse questions and beyond.

through these three phases, i have found that glass is both an innovation and a reinvention.
by integrating highly compact and new components, extend far beyond displays in last few decades. individualized movie players, game consoles.
we can develop new fields and push beyhnd and learn to be better connected to each other. shared access to communication. empathzie with people.

1111 days since she joined. this is a picture i would not
paragliding in new zealand.
more excited about what is yet to come.
1. barcode and qr code scans: reviews of books and movies
2. never getting lost, never bumping into things while looking up directions
3. whole other level: wedding vows, teacher taking questions, help you translate in medical doctor in foreign country that you’re allergic to penicillin

so much potential in terms of what is to come. new perspective for information sharing: new environment that glass can engender. when i have time to pause and think about how far weve come, feel prviliged to be part of such dynamic team. count you as developers as part of this group. so much potential and positive impact. and with that, i look forward to what you’ll build!

Megan Smith

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megan_Smith

solve for x
if you find your x, if you find your passion, you will be unstoppable.

Beowulf!

Kenton, Jade, Asheesh, maiki, and Sarah all met each other! There was OpenHatch + Railsbridge/Bridge Foundry strategerizing! Jade played fantaisie impromptu and vienna Teng!

Two MIT puzzle hunt puzzles by Seth:

http://web.mit.edu/puzzle/www/2012/puzzles/betsy_johnson/slash_fiction/

http://web.mit.edu/puzzle/www/2012/puzzles/into_the_woodstock/sounds_good_to_me/

emscripten

nacl
native client
Sodium chloride ha ha ha
Google pushing it

The tyranny of somethinglessness

Otherwise: on thurs there was a Wikipedia engineering meet up in sf! On fri we had one last rehearsal and on Saturday Spot the Octopus had an amazing concert! Today we went rock climbing and I met some women who love magic the gathering and warhammer and bouldering! And I did two 10c climbs! Not easily but still. I don’t give up!

Okay! Good night!

Angaza Design won Women2.0 PITCH 2013!

I went to Women 2.0′s conference in SF last week on Valentine’s day! I had gone last year too, when it was at the Computer History Museum. This year it was right by Union Square, at the Westin.

It’s always an amazing event. So many inspiring stories.

The winner of the pitch contest was an incredible company called Angaza Design. Their product: a solar unit that can charge cell phones and power LED lights. Their customers: entrepreneurs and families in west africa, in a region where only 15% of people have access to the electrical grid. Their secret tech: pay-as-you-go energy, where you have to unlock energy with mobile payments. Mobile payments are popular there, and the way that the solar unit gets information about how much more energy has been unlocked is amazing. The unit has a speaker and mic, and the customer holds up their mobile phone to the unit, and the server communicates to the unit through the mobile phone via a series of tones, telling the unit how much more power to mete out. The unit also communicates usage and status stats back to the server. Their team has a signal processing expert on it for this. THIS IS CRAZY AWESOME! Cell coverage is apparently very good in the region, and many people have feature phones (some around here call them “dumphones”)–I think it’s amazing because it’s using available technology and infrastructure in a novel way. I can’t believe they’re doing it like this. As someone who loves it when people find weird new ways of using existing tech, I think this is awesome.

As they pitched it, it sounded like the model for pre-paid cell phones: pay for a unit, then pay for minutes (or, in this case, energy). When asked by the judges, the CEO said that the unit costs the business $35 to make and they are charging $10 per unit, because it’s a significant enough investment that people are thinking about it, but not so costly as to shut out a large portion of their market. (One of the judges asked specifically if $10 was too much for the area.) The point is that you sell the unit at a loss and make money off of the minutes (energy). That night, I was thinking about it more, and wondered if they’d keep making money off of the energy produced by the unit forever, and how it was breaking my brain because the old “charity” way would be to do some kind of Kiva-ish campaign and get people to give out units for free without metering and provide power to a bunch of people … but then there’s this project to fund Angaza on SunFunder, which explicitly states: “When they’ve paid the full price of the product, the SoLite is permanently “unlocked” and our customers get free, clean, reliable energy for the remaining life of the unit.” This makes me feel better. As long as the metering is actually a way to “pay the full price of the unit” — Angaza makes money, it’s accessible to more people because the onboarding cost is way lower, sounds like everybody wins.

It’s a fascinating blend of social good and capitalism. The SunFunder campaign is not Kiva-style where the money or even devices bought by the money go directly to the families in Mwanza — the campaign was to raise money for the American company Angaza, so that Angaza could make the product and bring it to Mwanza and sell it to people there. I guess a benefit of doing it this way is that if you make money doing it, you’ll keep doing it, and you won’t have to rely on public charity. It’s business. It’s… sustainable. (see: tom’s shoes, which has a non-profit and a for-profit arm.)

When one of the judges made a comment about social good, the CEO spent some time saying they didn’t want to get “pigeonholed” into a “social good company,” because the potential for revenue in this business is huge. That was fascinating to me. She said that it was great to help people, but kept mentioning how important it was not to get “pigeonholed” and it sounded like she wanted to make sure people understood how viable a business it is. The pitch opened with a bang, too: she showed some slides that had starving children on it and asked the audience, “is this the africa you think you know? well, let me show you the africa I know and love and work in” and showed a picture of happy kids looking at a feature phone. She said something like, “Africa is not the sob story fed to you by the American media” and something about potential customers.

Fascinating. They were easily my favorite company that pitched, partly because the “use tones from the feature phone to communicate between unit and server” blew my mind so much. But there’s much more for me to learn about doing business in third-world countries with a social good plus capitalism bent and the language to use.

“Communication in multiplayer gaming: Examining player responses to gender cues”

Researchers at Ohio University conducted a study on reactions to gendered voices in Halo 3. The same recordings (of generic things like “thanks for the game”) were played in the lobby and after matches. https://vgresearcher.wordpress.com/2013/02/08/reactions-to-a-womans-voice-in-an-fps-game-kuznekoff-rose-in-press/

via r/girlgamers

link to abstract of study: http://nms.sagepub.com/content/early/2012/09/12/1461444812458271

I like that they also compared performance and found that the female voice after a game where that player performed well garnered more directed “positive” comments than a high-performing player with a male voice or a high-performing player that didn’t say anything. I’d like to know more about the “positive” comments because I wonder if “you’re so good for a girl” or “I’ve never seen a girl who played halo” count as “positive” in this study.

Obviously this is something I’m passionate about. I should dig up the screenshots of the first sc2 3v3 game I played with Fritz and Javan where one of our opponents typed at length about his plans to rape me and how juicy my butt was, because I made my sc2 name “judy”, because… well, I wanted to see what would happen, and I didn’t feel like using a gender-neutral name. Which is nothing compared to all the other blogs out there chronicling worse behavior, or even other things I’ve personally had directed at me. We repelled their 6pool zerglings and won the match and my teammates hadn’t even noticed the talking.

But this exists and we should talk about it. It’s kinda weird because every gamer knows all about this, but the mainstream has no idea. It’s like preaching to the choir if I ever do talk about it. When I tell people who don’t experience this every time they play games, it’s so out there that they can’t believe it, so they tell me “oh, these must be isolated incidents,” or “why do you care so much about what stupid people think?” which makes it into *my* problem for complaining. The problem is that it’s so systemic. So kudos for all the people getting the word out, Anita Sarkeesian among them.

on suicide

Cory Doctorow writes:

Because whatever problems Aaron was facing, killing himself didn’t solve them. Whatever problems Aaron was facing, they will go unsolved forever. If he was lonely, he will never again be embraced by his friends. If he was despairing of the fight, he will never again rally his comrades with brilliant strategies and leadership. If he was sorrowing, he will never again be lifted from it.

Depression strikes so many of us. I’ve struggled with it, been so low I couldn’t see the sky, and found my way back again, though I never thought I would. Talking to people, doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, seeking out a counsellor or a Samaritan — all of these have a chance of bringing you back from those depths. Where there’s life, there’s hope. Living people can change things, dead people cannot.

(emphasis mine.)

I hate myself for never doing enough.

I must remember to forgive myself for never doing enough, because as long as I stay alive, I am doing more than I would be able to do if I were dead. The hard part is believing that I’m not burdening people and making things worse by staying alive. I think I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t disagree with that all the time now, which is a vast improvement. Each of us has talents and the capacity to show each other delightful things, so we should continue to do that and we’ll always disappoint each other, but it’s okay. We were all made to be disappointed and all we can do is try to think about the delightful parts instead.

There are people organizing hackathons to work on projects in Aaron’s memory. MyLifeline looks particularly interesting to me because it could totally be feasible with a simple twilio app (I started sketching some ideas).

Here are some strategies for talking to people at risk via SW.

Lawrence Lessig is impossibly eloquent on what could possibly lead someone so well-loved by so many people to do this, and how disagreeing with the means is not the same as disagreeing with the entire person or being entirely unsupportive. It is very complex, but life is complex, and these are important, lifechanging, earthshattering issues they’re fighting.

I get wrong. But I also get proportionality. And if you don’t get both, you don’t deserve to have the power of the United States government behind you.

It is also funny that in the phrase “But anyone who says that there is money to be made in a stash of ACADEMIC ARTICLES is either an idiot or a liar,” LL actually uses caps, bold, and italics.

Nothing is real and everything is real, because this is all we have and we’re here on this earth for such a short time anyway.