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i rarely look at livejournal without being logged in, and since i have a paid account, i never see ads. even when i’m not logged in, i use an ad blocker. of course i forgot to install an ad blocker on my mac (though i did remember xmarks… can’t live without my bookmarks haha) and wow, i’m really surprised at the sheer number of video ads on livejournal. at least they have the decency to have the sound off by default. how many years has livejournal been like this? i just watched an ad for a lysol automatic hand soap dispenser. “fact: the top of your hand soap dispenser could be COVERED IN GERMS!” in text, with a bunch of colorful prototypical germy-looking doodles materializing on the video. it’s just too much, isn’t it? when a cleaning company is so desperate to shame you into buying their products that they target HAND SOAP dispensers as quarantine-worthy germ sites? is this reflexivity? recursion? irony? something? what a brilliant marketing ploy. look at the beautiful feminine hands under the faucet, with the suds being rinsed off. don’t you just feel cleaner watching it? look at the mother kissing the hand of her child. i can hear george carlin’s bald voice rasping against the inside of my skull: “i don’t get sick. why? I WAS TEMPERED IN RAW SHIT.”

i’m almost as impressed with the shamelessness of this ad as i was with gogirl. CONTAINS APPETITE SUPPRESSANTS. i mean, just think about that. it’s a product that preys on girls, who are told that they must feel guilty about consuming food products (especially sweet/fun ones), by advertising itself as a way to consume a fun/sweet food product without feeling guilty for consuming a fun/sweet food product. i mean it goes FARTHER than just “you can eat me without feeling guilty.” it’s like “i know you already feel guilty about thinking about eating! if you drink me, you won’t even WANT to eat anymore!” it’s pure genius. a product that you get tricked into buying because you want to consume less product.