I’ve been falling down a lot. I fell down the office stairs at Eudo (no injuries) last month, and three Fridays ago I sprained my ankle and lost my phone.

I got a replacement sim card and used my dad’s old phone, but then I lost it (yes, I lost my replacement phone) on Saturday at Live Oaks at the ainur bbq.

Either I don’t go outside very much normally, so when I do I get injured just because it’s easier to injure myself outside, or I have like brain cancer and it’s affecting my balance/coordination/memory or something.

I’m pretty disappointed about losing my phone again. Maybe it’ll turn up. But actually I’m more disappointed about my ankle and about injuring myself. Have I always been accident-prone? I’d call myself clumsy, but this is really taking clumsy to a new level.

I wanted to call Healthy San Francisco today to make an appointment to apply, but I can’t, because I have no phone.

Bart actually found my old phone. It’s at 19th street bart station. They sent me an email six days ago. But I don’t want to go because I can’t walk anywhere and my left ankle, the sprained one, still hurts if I stand on it, and since I worked a shift 9-3 at Eudo yesterday (Sunday), I think I hurt my right foot by standing on it exclusively (cuz I can’t stand on my left one at all) all day. My right heel really hurts. I also did it on no sleep, so I was too out of it to realize that I should probably stop standing on my right leg because it hurt. My entire body hurts, and I think I’m stressed out so that’s why my back and shoulders hurt, and I’ve had a really bad headache for the last 24 hours. I’m taking Advil and sleeping restlessly. It feels like there’s sandpaper in my throat. I’m cold. There’s pressure in my sinuses and I can’t breathe through my nose. It hurts to look near the window because it’s bright. I feel pretty slow, like I’ve noticed I’ve been slow to speak or slow to understand things lately, worse than usual.

Basically I’m in incredibly bad, bad, bad shape.

I’ve been disorganized all my life, but this is really bad, even for me. I have lost my phone once before, in 2008, and now I’ve lost it twice in 3 weeks. I wonder if Healthy San Francisco gives us free brain scans (I don’t actually wonder. That was sarcastic. I’m sure they don’t). I wonder if something is wrong inside. I can’t concentrate or hold thoughts, and I’m having more trouble than usual constructing sentences, and I keep falling down and losing things. Am I dying? I wonder if I’ll even be able to see a doctor via Healthy San Francisco in the next month for my ankle. Probably not. This is bad.

Edit 3:30pm: I called the “mission neighborhood health center - mission” clinic because i can bus myself to it, http://www.healthysanfrancisco.org/files/maps/HSF_Medical_Homes.html . I called them via skype. I made a new account because they give you 10 cents of skype credit to call out (I think). But the earliest they can make an appointment for me to APPLY to the healthy san francisco program is july 29. I knew this would happen. Oh well. So I get to go there to APPLY in 2.5 weeks, and then AFTER that, I get to make an appointment to see a doctor, probably in another month.