sleep

i just got home from the eudemonia midnight release of shards of alara, which was a colossal mistake to go to. i even left my digital camera at home this morning for the express purpose of luring myself back home right at 6pm so i could upload the other half of my hawaii pictures. but nooo, at 6pm i watched the vp debate at eudo, then i puttered around and installed the blackshot closed beta, and poked around in shaiya, and got to level 7 on my runepriest in warhammer online, and then it was midnight and the place was packed with excited magic players buzzing about shards of alara, and shards is the first of the next big block, and the last set i was into (lorwyn) was also the first of a block, and i was enthralled by the shards and the multicoloredness, and it was 2headed giant, which i’ve never played before, so i just went for it.

i didn’t even have fun after the first match because i was just too tired and i think i’m bad at magic so it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy and i was making my other head play for me, basically. it was sad. dean put bounties on eudemonia employee’s heads, so people that played us and won got a free drink. which is fine cuz it makes it more fun, but embarrassing when people say “hey judy, how many drinks did you give up?” haha. our first game (against dean and relando) was a draw but only because we ran out of time (we were at like 3 health left when turn 3 ended and in magic, if neither side is dead it’s a draw, unlike in the wow tcg, where at the end of time the hero that has more damage on it loses). then we lost 2 games. then we got a bye. but even so i was the last person to leave the store other than dean because i was staring at my new cards.

i bought one of the newly named “intro packs,” which are just theme decks plus a booster and an introductory flyer, meant to make the game more “accessible” to new players. i bought jund, the red shard (naturally). someone told me red elementals make a showing in shards, but i haven’t seen very much of them. the jund “intro pack” deck has goblins and the odd dragon here and there and things that eat themselves. the keyword for jund is “devour x,” which is… when this creature comes into play, you can devour other creatures you control, and you get x +1/+1 counters for every creature you devour. and there are a bunch of other cards that make little tokens. so it looks like the point of my new preconstructed deck is to make a bunch of weenie tokens, and then devour 2 them all and bust out enormous flying dragon things. haven’t played it at all yet.

anyway i’m miserable and tired now. when i reached my apartment and got off my bike, there was a woman going through the trash can. she straightened up and stared at me for a while, a disconcerting while; i guess she was waiting it out to see if i’d yell at her or chase her away or something. i walked around her and took my bike up the porch and she waddled down the street.

aren’t i grateful that i have a roof over my head? aren’t i grateful that i’m not so scrapped for money that i have to go through other peoples’ trash, in secret, in the dark, looking for cans to drop off for 5 cents each at the recycling station? aren’t i grateful? aren’t i thankful for what i have, for my future, for people that love me? even if i haven’t graduated from college and have wasted my potential, life is still good, right? right?