It’s all about Comfort–Emily Post

(Actually, I hear that the Google people have a great time at their gatherings, and they’re in roughly that class, aren’t they?)

Upon actually reading some Emily Post, I was surprised to discover that she considered the primary purpose of etiquette was to put her guests at ease. Her rules were intended to avoid anyone feeling left out or uncomfortable. “Amazing,” I thought, “far from being the stuck-up prude I imagined her to be, Mrs. Post is a Breakfast-at-Tiffany’s-esque facilitator of socialization!”

Some of the comments were quite good: doing research on your guests so you have something to talk about makes plenty of sense. I just hate the “The toaster must be standing and the toastee should be sitting with a glass but must not raise it” details. Restrictions for the sake of restrictions are irritating. More to the point, they generally don’t “put guests at ease”. Another of Post’s rules I read boils down to “if the group is more comfortable with a changed rule.. change it!”