In the last two weeks, I have dreamt about my retainer more than once. In one dream, it shredded my tongue, filling my mouth with blood (in real life, it does make my tongue sore, but it hasn’t actually cut my tongue yet). I have also dreamed that when I took my retainer out after wearing it for a day, my back molars came out with it. I held my white, cubic molars in my hand and rolled them around, counting my remaining teeth with my tongue. My entire face hurt when I woke up. And I wasn’t wearing my retainer.

I looked in the mirror the other day and everything about my face is unbalanced. And my teeth, the only part that got fixed, are horribly crooked again, again, again, because I didn’t wear my retainer reliably again, again, again. I have taken my dreams as my subconscious desperately reminding me to wear it so I have worn it all day yesterday and today (the first time in four months). I hate myself. So much.

10 thoughts on “

  1. Your face is fine! And it’s not like people are taking a look at you and saying “Damn your teeth are ugly”, right? Don’t be so self-critical about your looks! There are plenty of people who like the way you look just the way you are! And wearing retainers will fix the teeth right up again.

  2. 1) Dreams about teeth falling out are supposed to symbolize a loss of childhood.

    2) I think Fritjof Capra put it best when he said that the coolest stuff happens when systems are far from equilibrium. that is to say, unbalance is cooler than balance when it comes to the uniqueness of your awesome.

  3. I haven’t worn my retainer in 6 years. i think my teeth have moved a little bit, but i think maybe having p e r f e c t l y a l i g n e d teeth is a little unnatural. It now hurts to even put the retainer on.

    i think we notice our own asymmetry much more than others. one of my eyes are definitely smaller than the other. Same with my boobs; larger one and smaller one.

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