i dreamed that i saw two “fishtail” bugs. i got a paper towel and squished the first. i tried squishing the second but its shell was too hard, so when i dropped the paper towel in disgust the second bug ran into the pocket of my jacket, which was lying on the floor, dragging the entire paper towel as well as the other presumably dead bug behind it. i sat there in shock until ryan said “just look in the pocket” and reached in. i imagined the bug eating a hole in my pocket and then eating ryan’s hand and i woke up feeling yucky.
this is because angela killed a “fishtail” bug yesterday and said “oh, those are bad. they eat things. like clothing.”
i have an impressionable mind.
yesterday i went to the newman sunday night on sexuality. father dick led the talk. a t-shirt that says “handle… with care… and commitment” which is “very catholic” because yes, humans are warm things with bodies and feelings (“handle me”) but that opens us up to being fragile (“but be careful, and only if you really mean it.”) three periods of church teaching: 1) augustine: only for procreation, don’t enjoy it, but after all he did have this affair before he gave the woman up and became a celibate priest so maybe he was just guilty, 2) aquinas: mostly for procreation, but if you enjoy it it’s not bad cuz its lesser purpose is for intimacy and love, 3) vatican ii: equally for procreation and intimacy/love/etc. with advent of contraception some people are saying “well where are we going to go next… later it might be said that sex is primarily for intimacy/love/etc.” it’s healthy to become more “physically” intimate as you become more “verbally” intimate and today’s culture works that way, unlike victorian culture where the physical level progressed after you got married. “there are half a million sperm in half a teaspoon of semen… that’s a lot of those little swimmers!” father dick’s good at talking frankly about these things without everyone getting squeamish like 12-year olds in sex ed. he commented at the end that he would have liked to have the married life and it’s something he struggled with. how freaking hard would it be to give up all thoughts of romance and companionship?
i remember once in an smt meeting we were talking about priests and father peter commented that there will be married preists before woman priests. i forgot his reasoning for that though. there can be married preists in episcopalian churches right? what about women?
on saturday i had dinner with shirleeeee at la mediteranee. mushroom/cheese quiche is yummy. i’m glad i got to talk to her cuz i haven’t for a long time. caught up on stuff. etc.
everything internet is slow on my computer and has been for a few days. is this the gaia connection? is my computer just eroding away? also my wireless setup stopped working. i disconnect my ethernet cable, i put in the card, bla bla bla, my computer tells me it is connected, i see that the signal strength and quality are at 100%, bla bla bla, it’s sending packets… but it’s not recieving packets. and if i try to actually do something on the internet it says it’s not connected. sometimes after a period of time it’ll spontaneously start working. sometimes it continues to not work. i’ve tried restarting and etc. bla bla bla. when i first got war iii, in the setup screen it told me i didn’t have divx and pointed me to another screen so i could install it from the cd. then it told me that it detected divx on my system. then it told me i didn’t have divx. ah computers. and my mouse isn’t working. and uclink!!!!!!…
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